Shattered Tears
by lenagarnet
Summary: Sean comes back to Degrassi only to find that no one wants him there. A lot of hardships happen with Ellie Nash, unexpected of what's going to happen in the near future. Please R&R, it would be very much appreciated, thanks.
1. Unexpected Visitor

**A/N: This is my first Degrassi fanfiction that I have ever written. I, however, do not own Degrassi or any of its characters. I hope that each and every one of you enjoy this as much as I have written it. If you have any constructive criticism, please, don't be hesitant to tell me, I need all the feedback I can get! Thanks a bunch, and enjoy! (I'll be sure to update this as much as I can. 3**

Ellie stood by her locker, her eyes staring off into space, well, mainly the contents that resided in her locker. She caught a glimpse of someone that she recognized from her past; in slow motion, she turned her attention towards the direction of that certain someone. A gasp suppressed from her lips as she saw him walking towards her, very happy and relieved to see her standing there. Eliie, very confused, uttered his name, wondering why he was here of all places. "Sean?"

Sean approached her, his eyes staring deeply into her own. He had a gaze of love and one of longing. It had been a very long time since he had seen her and he remembered that he had broken up with her that one fateful day he was in Wasaga Beach. "Ellie" He whispered to her, his voice quaking with trepidation. He stepped towards her, but Ellie backed up, her hair falling in front of her face.

"Sean, please...don't." Ellie didn't know what to think at the moment. Here was Sean, standing in front of her, wanting to hug her. She couldn't let him; she didn't want him to in the first place. He had broken her heart and she had sworn to herself that she wouldn't get back together with him because he lived so far away now. Her motto was that guys suck. Not anymore though. The whole summer she had been crushing on Craig and luckily Ash had finally broken ties with him, as she had a new boyfriend, one in London. So, Ellie finally relieving herself of her shyness got together with Craig and are now a couple.

"I can't do this. You broke my heart." She said in a whisper, but firmly.

"Ell, I missed you. I missed you the whole time I was with my parents. I've been wanting to see you this whole time."

"Why did you bother coming back here, Sean? I've moved on..." She said this in a very serious tone. Ellie was starting to heat up, she was getting more upset by the minute. She did have the right to be mad at him, though. He did break her heart, deserting her after she had just gotten away from her mother, away from cutting her flesh. "I'm with Craig now."

"Ell, I wish I could have come back sooner, but I had to sort my life out. I mean, every single part of it. I...I love you, I really do..."

"Sean, don't...I can't hear that. I don't want to hear you say that you love me. It's over between us; you know that since you're the one that did break up with me. Just leave...go..."

Ellie gave him a stern look, tears welling up in her eyes as she turned around. He too did have tears in his eyes, tears of sadness. Why was she doing this? He wondered that much at the moment. He watched her walk away and as she turned the corner, he made his way towards the exit of the school. He'd have to talk to her again sometime, make it up to her somehow. He needed to let her have some time to think this through.

And she was with Craig? What was that business. Sean usually didn't get jealous about relationships, but this irked him just a bit. Wasn't he with Ashley? What was this business?

Ellie's heart was pacing very fast and she had the feeling that the students all around her could see her heart thumping against her chest. Why did he have to come back now? And here? Didn't he understand that it was over between them? So why is he here now telling her that he loves her?

A single tear fell from her eye as she spotted Craig and Marco standing by their lockers talking to each other.

"Dude, Marco, that gig last night was SO awesome! We kicked major butt!"

"Man, the look on their faces when we finished the last song was so awesome! Of course we couldn't do it without our awesome drummer, Ellie!" Marco said as Ellie approached them. She smiled weakly, but distorted her face back to the frown, which she had had for the past few moments. "Ellie, what's wrong?"

Ellie stepped towards them, lowering her head and then brushing a few strands of her hair from her face. "Sean...he's back. He's here..."

"What? He came back? When, how?" Craig stared at Ellie in disbelief. He had thought it was over between them. Obviously there was something that was upsetting her.

"Yeah. He said...he said that he still loved me." She bit her lower lip, "I'm scared, confused, I don't understand."

Craig held her in his arms, "Ell, don't cry, he's gone now, he's not here."

Smiling just a bit, Ellie wiped her tears away, "Thanks Craig, I feel better." She kissed him on his cheek and looked at Marco. She smiled. Truth be told, she was still upset about this matter. "I'll see you two later for practice. I need to head home for a while. Bye Marco, Craig." She turned around and started heading out of the school. Marco looked at Craig.

"If Sean does anything to her... and I mean, anything..." Craig said under his breath.

"Just leave it Craig, maybe it's not as big as you think..."

Sean was quite upset when he left the school. Ever day, every night he would be thinking about Ellie. Why hadn't he ever called her? Fear, perhaps, fear of being deserted or hated for what he did. Well, he was hated, hated for ruining a perfect relationship by moving in with his parents, who wanted to be parents for him again. Sean shook his head; maybe it was over between Ellie and he. He wished it weren't so, he wished that there was some way he could make it up to her. He spotted a local supermarket and headed inside. Roses would be a nice gift, he thought.

After spending a few moments inside the market, Sean came out with red roses wrapped with baby's breath, plumosa and leather fern. It looked absolutely beautiful. "Ellie is more beautiful than this bouquet," he thought to himself. Sean kept on walking, walking until he found the place where Ellie lived. He knew she wasn't going to be home, but there was always a chance in which she was. He rang the doorbell, his finger quivering in fear...

The door opened, a surprised Mrs. Nash opened the door. "Well, I hadn't expected to see you come around these parts. Didn't you run away to Wasaga Beach to cry with your parents?" Sean stared at her in awe. It was true; no one did like him.

"Umm, I came here to see Ellie...please Mrs. Nash...I have to..."

"And what makes you think I am going to let you see her? I told her that you were a bad influence on her from the start...I am glad you left her..."

"I..." Sean gripped his left hand and turned around. "Just forget it..."

"Good." Mrs. Nash closed the door and Sean walked off in anger. Little did he know that he was just about to bump into someone unexpected, or maybe it's expected at the very least. As he turned the corner, there he saw her, the most beautiful angel that he had ever seen, Ellie Nash. She was staring at the ground, her head hung in despair. Sean ran towards her, she looked at him, a quizzical look appearing in her eyes. "I thought I told you to leave me alone..."

"Ell, please...forgive me..." He handed the roses to her.

"I can't. I won't...I don't want to..."

She took the roses and threw them on the ground. "Giving me roses isn't going to change my mind about you, or Craig or anyone..."

She turned around. "Now leave me alone, please..."

Sean followed after her, his eyes prying into her back. She paced herself a bit faster, this time striding into a run. Sean ran after her, she wasn't quick enough. He grabbed her from behind and turned her around. "Ouch Sean! You're hurting me!"

He pressed his lips against hers, pulling her closer to him. Ellie resisted and pushed him off of her. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" She slapped him really hard across the face. "Never...I repeat never do that to me again..."

Sean placed his hand upon his cheek, staring at her in awe. "I...I..." Tears welled up in his eyes..."Ell...I love you..."

"Well, I don't love you anymore...Get over me..." She walked right past him and started running to her house.

Sean stared and screamed after her, "THIS ISN'T OVER ELLIE NASH! NOT THE SLIGHTEST BIT!"


	2. Stalker

**A/N: Thanks so much for the review! I know it's only one, but I am hoping for so many more. I can't wait till I commence with this story more; I hope it turns into something really big. I hope you guys have enjoyed reading it up till now. Please, I beg of you, please write any constructive criticism that you do have. I love getting reviews; they make me happy.  
**

Ellie reached her house and ran quickly inside. Her eyes wandered around for a moment until her gaze fell upon her mother, who was staring at her frantically.

"What's his face, Sean dropped by to see you. He seemed sort of desperate if you asked me."

"Mom. I know...he's back. "

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, sweetie, I told him to leave..."

"Thanks." Ellie smiled weakly, her heals clicking against the floor as she headed towards the couch. She sat down and looked at her mother. Her eyes were still prying at her, staring at her own daughter. "Yes?"

"Your father just called. He's not going to be coming back for another year. I'm sorry."

"Mmm, mom, I'm used to it already...but, what about you?"

"Me? I'll survive. I'm a grown women, don't worry about me." She smiled and placed her hand on her daughter's head, ruffling her hair slightly. "You know I can handle this, you've seen me."

"Yeah I have. I'm proud that you've gotten so far, Mom." Ellie stood up and gave her mother a hug. Secretly, she was very upset about the fact that her father hadn't come back yet. She missed him so much and Ellie had the feeling that her mother was thinking exactly the same thing but didn't want to say it. She brushed a few strands of tresses away from her face and headed towards her bedroom. Still, the shock from what had just happened made her want to cry.

Ellie sat on her bed, staring out the window. The leaves from the trees were swaying gently in the wind as a few birds flew by playfully whistling at each other. Her mind raced through once again. Sean had just kissed her and once again confessed her love towards her. What was he going to do next? She didn't want to think about any of the possibilities; it would most likely upset her more. Several tears slid down her eyes as they averted towards that compass that was lying on her desk. No, she had more self control than that, she couldn't injure herself again.

Stifling a tiny sigh, Ellie shook herself free from her bed and sauntered out of her bedroom. "Mom, I'll be back in a few hours or so. I am going to rehearsal for my band. Is there anything you want me to bring you back like dinner?"

"Mm, no Ellie. You go have fun, and be safe."

"Bye."

The brushed against her face as she opened the door to go outside. Her hair cascaded softly in the wind, blowing in many different directions. Her drumsticks were in her hands already and she was gripping them very tightly. Once again, her heart started beating very fast. For the first time in her life she was afraid, afraid that something was going to happen.

_This isn't over Ellie Nash!_

What on earth did that mean? It wasn't over. To her, it seemed like a major threat. But she wouldn't tell anyone, she couldn't. Not yet, nothing extreme has happened. Ellie walked faster, though, just in case. She was lucky that Craig lived so close to where she was, otherwise she would have had him come pick her up just to be extra precautious. No need to worry, she thought to herself. Everything will be all right; I hope so.

Ellie opened up the door as she reached Craig's house. Everyone was already there tuning up their guitars.

"Sorry I'm late, guys. Just heard news that my father isn't going to come back until next year..."

"How's your mother taking it?" Marco asked her with a worried look on his face.

"Oh, she seems to be find with it." Ellie smiled and took a seat by the drum set. She let her right hand fall onto one of the drums and started beating against it in a fast pace. She stopped and looked around.

"So, you guys ready to get on with it?"

"Dude, of course!" Craig smiled and strummed his guitar. This was bliss, bliss to every one of them. Being in this band was an escape to them. Living a normal life was very hard and they needed something to get away from all the stress busters that happened in their every day life. Ellie really enjoyed playing in the band now that she was together with Craig. She loved his company and he especially loved hers. They were meant for each other, their similarities just matched up so perfectly.

A few hours later practice finally ended, their playing getting better and better each day.

"I should get home to my mother. I promised her I would be home." Ellie said. She headed towards Craig and they both kissed each other before Ellie headed out the door.

Darkness had fallen; everything around her seemed to have a mysterious glow to it. Her footsteps echoed as she paced herself faster and faster. She had this feeling, this feeling that she was being watched, followed, something. Ellie looked behind her; there was no one there, no one that she could see very far away. She was just imagining things, nothing was going to happen.

But when she heard an extra pair of footsteps, she started worrying and her stride became a run. Ellie ran and ran, she was getting more tired by the minute. What on earth was happening? Who was following her?


	3. Poisonous Liquid

**AN: Thanks to everyone for the reviews so far. I know Sean may seem to act aggressive and what not, but I have a reason for it. You'll see what happens when the time comes and you'll understand why, I hope. Anyway, please leave those reviews that I love! Much love from me, and thanks.**

An arm wrapped around her waist and she could feel the person gripping her tightly from behind. Her heart was pounding hard against her chest as she let out a scream. It was stifled soon after because the person covered her mouth with his hand. He turned her around and she could see the face of none other than Sean. She bit into his hand and his immediately let go of her mouth. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Let go of me!" She squirmed in his arms and struggled very hard to free herself from his grip. It seems that he's gotten stronger within the past few months.

Sean let her go and pushed her onto the ground. Ellie scrambled to her feet as quickly as she could, but it was too late, Sean kept her on the ground. He stared at her, stared deeply into her eyes. They were so precious to him, very precious; they revealed the inner most truth about her.

Ellie lay there frightened of what he was going to do to her next. This wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening. The redhead knew that this wasn't something that Sean would be doing to an innocent girl such as herself. She wanted to scream, she wanted to slap him so hard, but no actions came from her. All she could do was look into his watering, hurt eyes and wonder why he was doing this to her, and especially here and now.

He held her hands as he leaned forward and pressed his lips gently against hers. He just wanted the satisfaction to be with her and to know that she still loved him. Ellie didn't kiss him back; she just kept her lips as tightly closed as possible. What was happening? She didn't want this to happen, it couldn't happen. Not to her. This was never something she wanted to happen to her and now, now it was finally happening.

"Sean...please..."

"Ellie, say you love me. I know you love me like you did so long ago..."

"I can't, I won't. I don't love you anymore. Why are you doing this to me? I don't want anything to do with you." Tears fell down her face and hit onto the grass. She looked deeply into his eyes and repeated herself firmly, "I don't love you anymore."

Sean stared at her, a perplexed look appearing on his face. How could she not love him anymore? He needed her. He wanted to be with her, he wanted to make love to her right now.

"I need you Ellie..."

"I don't need you. I hate you! Why did you even come back? You knew this was going to happen."

_I hate you_

The boy pushed himself off of Ellie and got to his feet. He bent his knees as he kissed Ellie on the lips one more time, this time he was crying. "Goodbye Ellie..."

He turned around and strode off into the distance. Ellie watched as he walked away, leaving her lying there on the ground. What just happened was so confusing to her. She was deftly afraid that she was going to lose her virginity at this exact moment, but it never happened. She thought it was going to. The redhead looked up into the sky, the stars were twinkling brightly as several leaves permeated past her. The wind was starting to pick up and already it was too dark for her to be out. She could see a small tinge of red in the sky, the remnants of the last part of the sunset.

She bit her lip as she stood up. Ellie couldn't stop herself from crying. An urge filled her body, an urge to cut herself. No, she couldn't do it. It's been months since she's done anything like that. She knows she has more self-control than that. Her hands wiped the tears from her face as she finally got to her feet.

It took her only around five minutes to reach her house and she was glad that she was finally home. Ellie propped the door open and headed inside, pretending that nothing had just happened. Her gaze fell upon her mother who was lying on the couch and then to something that shocked her even more than what had just happened.

"Mom, I can't believe you!" Ellie headed towards where her mother was lying and took the Vodka bottle from the table. "You...you're drinking again..."

Was this night going to get any worse? She stared at the bottle. Why would her mother just resort back to drinking? Ellie knew that her father wasn't going to come home until a year from now, so why was her mother drinking again? Something was obviously wrong for her to start drinking again.

"Why, mom? Why?"

Mrs. Nash sat up on the couch, her eyes were filled with pain and they were red from crying.

"Mom, you've been crying. What's wrong? What happened...?"

Ellie sat down next to her mother and watched her wipe away the tears from her sallow face. She wasn't too drunk, which was lucky for Ell, but did she really want to know the information that was going to spill from her mother's mouth in the next minute? All this drama with her mother was already making Ellie forget what had just happened only fifteen minutes ago. The girl placed the Vodka on the table and waited until her mother spoke.

"I lied to you today, Ell..."

This wasn't happening. What wasn't happening? Ellie didn't know, but she knew that the news was going to be bad and about what, she didn't know.


	4. Crimson Tears

**AN: I made Sean the way he is for a reason. A lot of stuff happens when you're gone from your friends for almost a year. –nods- Anyway, I decided to update this today, hope you enjoy. Please leave your comments and reviews; I would very much love to see them, thanks a bunch and thanks to everyone who has read this so far. Muahz.**

Ellie's heart was pounding against her chest. A part of her was squirming to understand why her mother had found her way back to drinking, and another part of her didn't want to hear any of it. She wanted to yell at her mother, scream at her for being so stupid, for drinking again. The two of them had worked so hard to get where they are now and her mother ruined it for her, ruined every little bit of it. Ellie was on her own now, but she was slipping away from any sort of accomplishment. She couldn't handle keeping away from something so addicting on her own. To her, cutting was just as addicting as drinking was.

"Mom..." She had to know. Ellie wanted to help her mother, she wanted to understand. What could be so drastic to make her mother this way, and now?

"Eleanor, your father isn't going to come back."

"W-what do you mean?" Her face turned a pristine white as she stared into her mother's eyes. She could see her own reflection; she could see how white she was at the moment.

"Your father found someone else. He's very sorry..." Mrs. Nash couldn't hold in the tears any longer and she let them slide down her face. "Ellie...what are we supposed to do?"

"I..." Her world had turned upside down. First Sean coming back and trying to take advantage of her and now this. Her father leaving her mother for another women. Is that why he hadn't bothered to call them until now? He was sorry. Ellie couldn't feel any of that inside her; she couldn't feel that he was sorry at all. A sort of hatred filled her heart for her father now. She had certain distaste for men who cheated on their wives and left them for another woman. The redhead couldn't think, let alone breathe correctly. She was sobbing now, her tears rolling down her eyes. She needed someone to hold, Craig, she needed him, but he wasn't here. Cutting? No, no she couldn't do that again, her mother would kill here. But what was she going to do? Ellie got up from the couch staring at her distraught mother. She couldn't take this anymore, she didn't care. Ellie handed her mother the Vodka, she simply didn't care.  
"I have to be alone..."

Ellie wiped her tears from her eyes and cursed at her father inside her head. She hated the man more than anything right now and she hated herself for promoting drinking to her mother. Why had she even handed the Vodka back to her at all? More tears flowed down her face as she sat down on her bed. She stared at herself in the mirror.

A petite girl was looking back at her, her face white as a ghost and her eyes red from crying too much. She noticed the rubber band on her wrist and started snapping it several times. It hurt, but not enough. She needed release; she needed to feel another pain, one that wasn't inside her. It was too much for her to bear. She pulled the rubber band as far as she could out and snapped it. Her lips uttered a small gasp; it wasn't hurting, she was still crying.

Biting her lip, she got to her feet and headed towards closet. She opened it up and looked inside. There were many heaps of clothes and other items inside. She rummaged through a small pile that lay on the ground that was in the corner of the closet. She picked up the small black box and opened it up. All her utensils that she had used for cutting herself lay in here. A cynical smile appeared on her face, but it quickly faded away from her lips as she picked up a razor blade.

She placed the box on the ground as she fumbled to sit on her bed. Ellie's eyes averted to the razor blade that lay in her right hand. She stared at it, craving it, wanting the satisfaction of relief. She rolled up the black skirt she was wearing and looked at the white flesh of her thighs. This time she wasn't going to make the mistake of anyone finding out about her secret. No one was even allowed to look at her near her special area; she found a safe place, her thigh.

Her right hand pressed the blade into her thigh, slowly sliding it across. A tiny gasp escaped from her lips. She never realized that it hurt so much to do it, but she wanted to do it more, she needed to. In rage, she started slicing her leg back and forth, blood seeping out from each wound she was making. Ellie's heart was beating incredibly fast as she finally stopped slashing her thigh. She looked at the damage and noticed that her thigh was now completely raw, filled with blood trickling down onto her bed. She stood up, pacing back and forth.

It felt so nice to have this cool sensation running down her leg, the blood was so thick, so red, she loved the sensation. It took her mind off of the pain that was rushing through inside her. She didn't have to think about her mother, her father or even Sean to that matter. The redhead clenched her fist tightly. The only thing that she could think of was the pain from the cuts on her leg. Did she regret any of it? No, not this time, she had enjoyed feeling that pain she was so familiar with.

Then, it all came back to her. Her father, her mother, Sean. Ellie's head was pounding with confusion. She did care if the blood trickled onto her sheets now; she ran to her bed and screamed into her pillow, screamed so very loud. Her sobs grew louder and louder until she couldn't cry anymore. Ellie wanted to die; she wanted to die so bad. All this pain needed to go away, but there was no way it was going to, ever. Her father had left her mother and now her mother was drinking again. Sean, he was back and he still loved her, yet he nearly raped her just an hour ago. How could this day have happened? So many thoughts trailed in her mind, but they eventually faded away as she drifted off into a deep sleep.


	5. Broken Love

**A/N: Decided to get this up for you guys. I hope it's not that bad. Please leave any constructive criticism, I would really love to read them, thanks. **

A soft breeze drifted gently through the air, hitting casually onto the young girl's face. It didn't seem to bother her at all, but once the sun came up, the glare was prying into her eyes; she definitely seemed to notice. Ellie sat up in her bed, her red hair falling in front of her face as she looked out the window. She was most certainly glad that it was finally a weekend. Too bad the beautiful day didn't match her mood as of right now. A yelp stifled from her lips as she moved her right leg to get out of her bed. She noticed a large blood stain on her bed from the blood that had leaked out of her as she slept. Her eyes drifted to the red gashes on her right thigh and tears welled up in her eyes.

Ellie had done so well with handling her cutting obsession and she destroyed that last night. What was it that made her so upset? The fact that her mother started drinking again? Or was it the fact that she was no longer going to see her father? She, at the moment, had a gruesome distaste for her father; she loathed him with every single part of her heart. Why on Earth would he go into the army, promise to come back, and then find someone else along the way?

Sometimes, Ellie didn't understand how men could be so unworthy of living. Marco was her first boyfriend, but she knew that there was something wrong with him from the beginning. The fact that he turned out to be homosexual shocked her in every way. It was so hard for her to keep it a secret from everyone, but she was relieved when he came out to everyone. Ellie loved her best friend, though, no doubt about it, there was no way he was unworthy of living. But, there was someone else in her mind that was unworthy of living.

Her thoughts flashed back to the night before, a single tear running down her face. Sean had come back to visit her and only her? He broke her heart when they went to Wasaga Beach that one fateful day. He had tried killing himself because of all the stress that was taking over him. She was so worried at the time, but if she had known that he was going to break up with her, her thoughts would deem different. Then, he wanted to stay with his parents and broke her heart in everyway. Ellie had sworn off being with guys, she hated them for doing all these horrible things to her.

Sean had changed. He wasn't the same person she knew before he left her. There was something terribly wrong with him; he just couldn't understand the fact that she was with Craig now. Why would he try coming back to her and practically raping her the night before? He kissed her, yes, but then someone about him changed, it was that same soft Sean that she knew from before. He said goodbye to her? Why? Ellie was fearing that something bad was going to happen, what? She didn't know. He cried when he left her lying there on the ground.

This was too much for Ellie to even think about. Shaking her thoughts away, the girl got to her feet and tried walking straight to the bathroom. She was limping slightly because of the pain inflicted on her leg. That was, of course, her fault. She closed the door behind her and pulled several toilet paper pieces off and ran the water over them. Slowly and gently, she washed the blood off from her leg. She could see the deep gashes she did to herself the night before. Ellie flinched as she wiped the last bit of blood out from her thigh.

A sigh of relief suppressed from her lips as she flushed the bloody toilet paper down the toilet. Ellie headed out to the living room to find her mother lying on the couch, the Vodka bottle completely empty. The redhead picked up the bottle and threw it into the trashcan. She sat down next to her mother and put her head on her shoulder; Ellie started to cry.

A tiny bird whistled it's beautiful song as it flew quickly past a body lying on the ground. It stirred. A face popped out from under the blankets, his eyes staring at the surroundings around him. He was lying behind his old house, knowing that no one would find him there. Sean's face was tearstained. He only had one more hope left. He felt that no one wanted him back. All his friends had denied him over the past few months, somehow.

It was time to try his first love, Emma Nelson, maybe; maybe she would want him back. But he wasn't too sure on that, he broke her heart, as well; he just didn't know what he could do.

He stood up and wiped the debris off of him and headed towards the street. He ruffled his hair and then smoothed it out in order to make him look decent. He hadn't even found a decent place to stay and now his clothes smelled of the stench on the street. Licking his lips, he made his way over to Emma's house, hoping to find her there.

It took him about fifteen minutes to find his way to her house, but he had some time to think for himself along the way. He thought about the day before, how Ellie had denied him. Sean was pretty upset with the fact that Ellie was with Craig and how she didn't love him anymore. All he did was leave her and live with his parents in Wasaga Beach, what was so wrong with that? She was relying on him to help her stay out of trouble, help her from cutting herself. He hoped that she was doing okay.

Sean saw the side window to the basement open and he peaked inside. He saw her sleeping there, her luscious blonde hair wrapped around her fingertips. Emma was sound asleep, Sean would feel bad if he woke her up, but he didn't have that much time, he needed to know. He crawled through the window cautiously and headed inside, taking a seat on Emma's bed.

His hand slid through her hair and slowly her eyes popped open, wide with shock. He covered her mouth with his hand as she screamed; he hoped no one heard her. Then again, no cars were in the driveway, so he didn't see why this would bother anyway.

"Holy...Sean what on Earth are you doing here?" Emma asked him, shaking his hand off from her mouth. Her heart was beating a thousand beats a minute, she was so scared at the moment.

"Emma, I just wanted to see you. I wanted to see if you still loved me..."

"And you snuck into my house to ask me if I still loved you?" She stared at him. He was beyond insane, he seriously needed some help.

"Yes..." He answered her, he leaned forward and Emma pushed him off.

"What do you think you're doing? You can't just come in here and expect me to still love you. That's completely insane. I got over you a long time ago. I don't love you."

"Emma, I love you, though."

"Sean, I've moved on, what part of that don't you understand? I'm with Chester now and I am very happy that I found someone who actually cares for me."

"But..."

"Just go home Sean. We don't need you here anymore."

Emma pried her eyes into his and he stared back at her, tears forming in the corner of his eyes. No one loved him; no one in this whole world loved him. What was he going to do? He didn't know. Sean stood up and headed out the same way he got in. This was the last straw for him. If he couldn't find love in Degrassi, then he couldn't find love anywhere. He cried, his tears falling to the ground. He had to do something, anything. His depression was getting to him and all thoughts only came to one thing...


	6. Visiting From Afar

**A/N: Sorry if some of you don't like this story, but it's understandable because not everyone is supposed to like your story, it's all a matter about a person's taste and that's completely cool with me. Anyway, I am glad that I wrote this next part, I guess because I seriously haven't updated in ages. I hope you guys enjoy this. And my reasons for the characters are doing is my own twisted imagination. Hope you like. 3 Please read and review.**

Craig Manning stared out the window for the longest time. There was a soft breeze that was now pervading playfully through the air. Leaves danced joyfully and a sudden chill came into his room. He turned around as he let a small yawn escape from his lips. He was glad that he didn't have to get up too early today. Craig always savored the weekends, especially the amount of sleep that he got. Tonight was going to be a wonderful night; he was going to get to go to the movies with Ellie and have dinner afterwards, it was all his treat.

It's been a month since they actually got together. He remembered when Ellie tried to hide the fact that Ashley had found someone new in her life. Sure, he was angry with Ellie for not telling, but he understood after a while that it was best that Ashley had told him instead. It was all too painful once again hearing it on the phone from Ashley. He wanted to fly all the way over to Ashley and slap her senseless. How dare she leave him for another guy? He then realized that he needed to move on and that's where Ellie came along. Craig had been so close to swearing off women, but to his luck, he didn't. He now had Ellie in his life.

His feet hit against the floor as he started heading downstairs; his eyes averting to where Joey lay. Craig assumed that it was his day off because otherwise he wouldn't be lying around like that. Uttering a sigh, he took a seat on the sofa next to the couch and stared at Joey. He had been like that for the whole summer, and now he was still like that. It was ever since Caitlin had taken that job in Los Angeles that he had resorted to a deep depression. All Craig could feel was terrible for him; he didn't know what he could do. He wished that Caitlin could just come back and sweep him off his feet, but he knew that it wasn't as easy as that.

"Joey, you seriously need to get out of the house...You so need it."

"Ugh, Craig, I don't want to do anything. I'm too depressed."

"Just get together with the guys. You know how you helped Snake that one time, I am pretty sure they will help you..."

"No, Craig, you don't understand..."

"Joey, you don't understand. You need to get on with your life. She isn't just going to run through the door and run crying into your arms. It isn't as easy as that. You need to do something with your life instead of lying down on the couch all day long."

"Don't tell me what I don't understand and what I do. You don't know how much of an effect this has on me."

"Yes, I do. Just get over her and maybe something good will happen in the future..."

"Don't you need to be somewhere...?" Just then the doorbell rang, interrupting what Joey was about to tell Craig. This was very unusual for a Saturday morning, especially considering the fact that no one stopped by unless they knew about it.

Craig exasperated a sigh. "I'll get it..." He headed towards the door, looking back at Joey and shaking his head. There was no hope for this guy, he would have to do everything himself and make things worthwhile for Joey. He opened the door and his face whitened like it had never done before. He looked like a ghost as he opened his mouth, "Ash...ley?"

"Oh Craig, I've missed you so much. I AM so so so sorry that I left you for Alister." Craig stared at her in awe. Why on Earth was she coming back to Canada when she knew that they were finally over? "Can I come in?"

"No, you can't." Craig still couldn't find the right words to say to her. This was the love of his life so long ago. In actuality, he knew that they wouldn't be together forever; he knew that she would leave him someday. Craig knew that Ashley couldn't handle his bipolar disorder and he especially hated it when she made mention to it in the worst circumstances.

"Why? I came back here to Degrassi to see you. I wanted to tell you I was sorry. It was a mistake to not let you know right away..."

"You're forgiven, now go away." He leered at her. He didn't need this right now.

"That's it? You're forgiving me and telling me to leave? Are you off your meds again, Craig?"

"Ashley, I HATE IT WHEN YOU MENTION MY MEDS! NO I AM NOT. Just leave and go back to your precious little Ali, I don't need you anymore..." He slapped his hand across her face, just like he wanted to a month ago when she had told him on the phone.

"I don't know what's wrong with you, but you seriously need a stronger medication. Now I know why I left you and why I can't be with you anymore." She placed her hand on her face and rubbed it gently, she flinched from the pain, but it subsided pretty quickly.

"Frankly, I don't care, Ashley. I don't need you anymore." His breathing was getting quicker and heavier. "Just leave now Ashley, go back to your Ali..."

"I never should have come here..." Ashley turned around and headed towards the car that had dropped her off. Before she had turned, Craig could see the tears in her eyes and a pang hit his heart so hard that he was empathetic towards what she was feeling at the moment. Craig shook his head and closed the door. He hoped that that was the last time he was going to see Ashley, he didn't love her anymore. He was most certain that he loved Ellie, he could feel it this time, not because of he was bipolar, but because he knee he loved her.

Craig wiped the tears from his eyes and headed back into the house. He wasn't done talking with Joey, convincing him that he needed to do something with his life, anything at all.

"Who was that, Craig?" Joey asked with a concerned look on his face. He was now sitting up on the couch and watching him closely.

"A ghost from the past...I had half hoped that it was Caitlin, but it wasn't." He answered Joey with a monotone voice. He wished Caitlin could come back, that way he wouldn't have to deal with Joey's so called depression.

"It will never happen, Craig. She won't come back. She's too busy to actually come back here and see me. I don't know how many times she's broken my heart now, but I guess I deserve it." He said reluctantly. Joey didn't want to say that, but he had to let it all out. He got up to his feet. "But, you are right, Craig, I need to move on. It's guys night out, time to go bowling!"

Craig was so relieved to hear that Joey had finally gotten a hold of himself. It felt so nice to see Joey smiling for something that he cared about, bowling. He hadn't seen him go out in a while, but he was pretty sure that he was going to make the most of the night and not ruin it. Just like Craig was going to make the most of the night as well. It was only a few more hours until he got to see Ellie, he couldn't wait until he could pamper her all night long. Little did he know that she had gone through a lot since last night.


	7. Fun Night Out

Ellie was sitting in her room staring blankly at herself in the mirror. Her eyes trailed down to the red gashes on her legs that she had created the night before. An utterance escaped from her lips as she dropped her black skirt to the ground. It was a bit flowy, but it would do since she was going out on a date. Ellie looked at her face, she didn't even think of herself as pretty anymore, not that she thought she was pretty before, either. Biting her lower lip, she turned around and took a seat on her bed.

Many thoughts rushed through her troubled mind. Was she going to tell Craig tonight that her dad had left her mom for another woman and that he was never going to come back? What about Sean? Was she going to tell him that he nearly raped her last night? Ellie didn't know. A part of her wanted to tell him, yet another part didn't want to tell him. She knew that he would probably flip out if he heard the story about Sean. All those cuts, all those scars from the night before were indeed towards the two things that did happen.

Outside, the sun was setting into the horizon, a glow of red tinting the night sky with its luminous rays. There seemed to be very little wind this night, but a cool chill permeated through the room hitting onto the back of the redhead. She turned her gaze towards the darkness that lay outside. Craig should be coming soon, hopefully now. She didn't want to stay cooped up in this house anymore. Ellie decided she needed to leave now and just wait outside for him. So, she got up and headed out of her room. Mrs. Nash was lying on the couch, her hand holding another bottle of that evil liquid which she despised so much.

Shaking her head, she spoke out loud, "Mom, I'm going out now, with Craig. I'll be home by eleven..."

"Uhnnn...be care...ful..." 

She could tell that her mother was already drunk enough to slur her words. Ellie traipsed faster towards the door and opened it and to her surprise she could see Craig standing there, just about to ring the doorbell.

"Oh Craig!" Ellie clasped her arms around him and held him tightly. A single tear fell down her cheek as she closed the door behind her. Craig caught a glimpse of her mother lying on the couch and drinking some Jack Daniels. He cocked a brow and then held Ellie tighter, knowing that there was something wrong. He wasn't going to make mention of it to her now, but he was going to ask later on as the evening did progress.

"Well, it seems that you're ready to go! One night of fun coming right up!" Craig laughed a bit, and so did Ellie.

"I've been waiting all day to see you. I wish you could have come earlier, but it was nice to sit and reflect about stuff that has been happening." Ellie trailed her fingers through her hair and led the way to Craig's car. He had finally gotten his silence during the summer and she was so glad because of it. They wouldn't have to walk everywhere they were going, instead, he would drive.

They got inside the car and sat down. Craig turned on the engine and started driving. Ellie looked over at him and smiled, "Craig, how was your day?"

"Well, I finally got Joey to change his mind about lying on the couch all day long." A smile formed on his lips, a bit of a grin, maybe, but Ellie could tell that he was happy about this. But then, a frown appeared on his face and Ellie cocked an eyebrow.

"Craig, what's wrong?"

"It's Ash..."

"What about her? Please don't tell me you still love her..." Ellie clenched her fists tightly; she could feel the blood pulsating through her veins. What did she have to worry about, she was still in London and not here.

Ellie lost her respect towards Ash a long time ago when she decided to cheat on Craig with that Alister person that she met. How could she have been so thoughtless and not tell the guy right away, instead putting a burden on her and making her not tell him. It was going to leak out anyway. Well, Ellie lost her best friend after that ordeal happened and she hoped that she wouldn't have to talk to her or see her again.

"She dropped by my house today..."

"WHAT!" Okay, so Ashley was here, but why on Earth would she be coming back to Degrassi and visit Craig? Was she still in love with him? Ellie was so confused now.

"She came to apologize. I was pretty upset that she came in the first place, so I slapped her after she mentioned something about my meds. I'm glad that we're through because I seriously did hate how she talked about my Disorder like it was a disease or something."

"Craig, I'm so sorry that she had to come back here."

"Ellie, it's okay. I think she went back to London, maybe I was the last stop before she had to leave...I hope so."

"I want to make a promise to you, Craig."

"Ellie? What promise?"

"I promise that I won't ever keep anything from you and I hope that you will do the same?"

"I promise I won't keep anything from you. Why are we doing this, though?"

"Well because I don't want you getting hurt and vice versa. I think it's best that we don't keep anything from each other, you know?"

"I agree." Craig stopped the car as the approached the movie theatre. He smiled at Ellie, glad that he was finally with her. Other than the Joey thing, his whole day was probably as boring as hers. 'We're here."

"Yay! I can't wait until the movie starts." Ellie jumped out of the car and headed to where Craig was standing. She looked him in the eyes directly and spoke, "There is something that I do need to talk to you about, though..."


	8. Confessions

**A/N: Hey guys, sorry I didn't leave you an AN last chapter. Yeah, I hope you guys are enjoying my story. Please leave a review if you ever get the time to, I would love that so much! –hugs all around- Thanks.**

Emma was still shocked from the ordeal that she had experienced previously that day. Sean had come to visit her and confessed that he still had loved her. What confused her about this was the fact that Sean was acting differently from the Sean that she knew. A feeling welled up in her body, something wasn't right about him coming here, alas, it was only a feeling. It faded away quickly as she got up from her bed and headed over to her computer that she had gotten during the summer. Although it had been ages since what happened to Emma when she was younger, her parents were still iffy about her meeting people on the Internet.

But there were no worries; Emma learned from her mistakes and only spoke to people she knew were her friends in real life. There was a screen popped up already, as if the person had already read her mind. It was a message from Manny saying that she was on her way, from where, though? Emma had forgotten that Manny had left earlier that day for something, but what, she didn't know. She headed over to her dresser and found a cute blue skirt that she decided to wear with a white spaghetti top. As she changed, she yelled out to Spike and Snake, "I'm heading out to the movies with Manny! We will be back before midnight!"

"And not any time after that, Emma!" yelled Spike from the top if the stairs. Emma smiled and looked herself over in the mirror. She didn't think she looked hot in anyway, but this will do for the time being. Emma had had very low self-esteem ever since what happened to Rick. The shooting affected everyone, but she thought that it affected her the most. Emma wished that she did have someone that she could hold onto like she did so very long ago. Her mind flashed back to what had happened with Sean. Yes, she did say that she was with Chester, but that was only a lie to get him away from her.

The window to the basement opened up and she spotted her best friend leaning over and looking in. "Well, are you ready?"

"Almost..." Emma looked herself again in the mirror and sighed. Hanging out with her best friend was the only thing that kept her from thinking too negatively about herself. Biting her lower lip, she fixed her hair just a tad bit and then turned around, heading towards the window. She climbed out of it and propped herself up, hugging Manny tightly.

"Where on Earth have you been all day?" Emma asked, worried.

"I've been at the library all day researching a career in acting. I'm so happy that I have found something that I want to do with my life."

"You've had me worried sick. Thank God you sent me a message and said you were on your way."

"Sorry about that, Emma..." Manny looked at Emma for a moment, "Wait a minute...What's wrong?"

Emma told Manny what happened to her earlier that day. Manny stared at her with a weird expression on her face.

"Wow, I can't believe he tried to kiss you! But, you're saying that he wasn't himself?"

"Yeah, something's not right about him. He's not the same Sean that I knew so long ago."

"I'm glad that you're safe now. That's all that matters."

So, they continued walking towards the movie theatre plaza. Manny didn't know what she was going to find there, nor did Emma, but it seemed like an adventure all waiting to happen. It was the movies, after all.

"What's wrong, Ellie?" Craig asked her as he grasped one of her hands in both of his. "You can tell me anything." He saw that a tear was sliding down her cheek as she continued staring at him.

"I'm so afraid to tell you...I...I...don't know how you're going to react." Whimpers stifled from her lips as more tears trailed down her cheeks. She turned away from Craig, staring off into the distance. This wasn't the right time to tell him, but she knew she had to, she had already put herself up for it.

"Ellie, I'm worried, please, tell me?" Craig came up from behind her and held her tightly in his arms, cradling her tightly. Ellie stepped forward and turned around, looking at him.

"It's about Sean..."

"Sean? What about him, he didn't hurt you, did he?"

"No, well, kind of..." Ellie looked at the ground and shuffled her feet.

"What do you mean kind of? He either hurt you or he didn't." Craig yelled loudly.

"Craig, don't yell, please."

"Sorry, I was just overreacting. I really care about you, I just don't want to see you hurt, and you know that."

"I know, Craig, I know. I have to tell you what happened though, but promise me, please don't get too upset and do something irrational."

"I promise. Now what happened?"

Ellie took Craig's hand and led him over to a bench that faced away from the movie theatre and all the people passing back and forth. They sat down and Ellie stared at the trees swaying slightly with the wind.

"Last night, after practice. I was walking home and Sean attacked me. He...umm, kissed me..." Ellie looked at Craig and she could tell that he was very upset about this, but was trying very hard not to explode. "That was the most drastic thing that happened. I fended him off and he eventually left me on the ground."

"He didn't rape you, did he?" Craig placed his hand on top of hers and squeezed tightly. He wished that didn't happen, it would be the worst of all cases.

"Oh, no. Thank goodness that didn't happen." Ellie replied with a little relief in her voice. "That's not all, though. He said good-bye to me and I could hear this sadness in his voice, something that I would have never heard from him. He's not himself...it just, confuses me..."

"I'm so sorry that happened to you Ellie...umm, what are you doing?" He noticed that she was lifting up her skirt on her right hand side. He spotted the red gashes wounded into her skin and his breathing got heavier. "Ellie, oh my God, why?"

"I had to...there was nothing else I could do."

"You could have at least called me or something..."

"I couldn't, it was so hard to keep myself from doing it. Craig...my dad's been cheating on my mom and now he's left her because of it..."

Craig didn't know what to say. He placed his right hand on the scars on Ellie's leg and traced them one by one. She flinched slightly from the pain as more tears fell down her face. She didn't want to tell Craig any of this, but she had to, she made a promise to him. Chewing on her lower lip, she looked at him. "Craig?"

"I don't know what to say. I wish you could have called me and talked to me about it..."

"I'm sorry, I was too flustered. I didn't know what to do. My mother started drinking again and I thought about the last time that she had and how cutting myself was the only way to get away from the real pain inside."

Craig pulled Ellie closer to him and hugged her very tightly. "Never ever do that again. I don't want you hurting yourself. There are better ways, I know of it."

"I won't. I will try not to." Ellie pressed her lips against his and looked him in the eyes. He wiped away her tears.

"Now come on, we have a movie to see." He smiled as Ellie put a smile on her face, "You know I will always care about you."

"I know."

The two of them got to their feet and headed in the general direction of the theatre. Ellie was still upset about telling Craig, but she knew that it was all for the better. Her eyes spotted two girls heading towards the theatre, as well. One of them was wearing a rather risky outfit whereas the other was a bit more decently dressed, Manny and Emma. Craig noticed them, too, but ignored them, somewhat as he and Ellie walked by, heading into the movie that they were going to see. He spotted Manny out of the corner of his eye that she was looking at him with those brown eyes that reminded him of a time so long ago. No, he was with Ellie and he was happy, or was he?


	9. Unknown Desires

**A/N: I hope you guys like this. It was really hard for me to write, especially at the end when I didn't want to give away who was doing what they were doing. It's only one person, just letting you know. Enjoy, and please read and review, constructive criticism please? **

Ellie and Craig were sitting casually in the back of the theatre enjoying their popcorn and their drinks. Not a flinch on their faces even mentioned what had just happened between the two. No one would have been able to tell that Ellie had been crying, and Craig, well, a little upset. Craig's eyes were wandering around the theatre searching for any sign of Manny Santos. He couldn't control his thoughts and his feelings, but when he saw Manny for that split second earlier, he knew that there was something that he needed to do. Her hair was short, bouncy, she was pretty, way prettier than Ellie could ever be. His eyes fell upon a girl that was heading out of the theatre...Manny.

Craig leaned over to Ellie and whispered in her ear, his first lie to her, ever, "Hey, I need to use the restroom...I'll be right back, promise." Ellie looked over at him and smiled while giving him a small kiss on the lips. She watched as he headed out of the movie theatre, unknowing about what was going to happen.

"Manny, hey, wait up..." Craig yelled after her.

Manny stopped and turned around, a devious smile appearing on her face, only for a mere second. She headed over to where Craig was and looked at him.

"Craig?"

"How have you been, Manny? We haven't each other spoken for ages...I mean, spoken to each other for ages..." Craig laughed at his little mistake and Manny could tell that he was quite embarassed about messing up.

"I've been good. I see that you have, as well." She notioned towards the theatre where Ellie was sitting oblivous to the fact that Craig was talking to Manny instead of her.

"Not particularly..." He stated, shuffling his feet nervously, "When I saw you...just a few minutes ago, I remembered of so long ago..."

"Really?" Manny stared at him. She didn't know what to think about that. Manny remembered the last time they had been together, it didn't end as well as she had hoped. He had been with Ashley at the same exact time that he was with her, which bothered her quite a bit.

"Yeah, and now...well..." He just couldn't come up with the right words to say it. He wanted to be with Manny this time, he could feel it. His feelings towards Ellie were diminishing by the second. He stepped forth and pulled Manny closer to him. He pressed his lips firmly against hers and kissed her as passionately as he did so long ago. Sparks triggered between them as they stood their kissing. Manny finally came to her sense and pulled away.

"Craig...not here..." Her eyes wandered, noticing that there were a few bystanders that were staring in complete amazement as to what happened. Craig shook himself an finally got back his senses, as well.

"I'm...sorry..." What on Earth was he doing? Why had he just kissed his ex when he was together with Ellie? Many thoughts were rushing through his mind; he didn't know what to think at this exact moment. What had just happened confused him immensely.

He loved Ellie, didn't he? Perhaps the whole thing that happened between them earlier made him have second thoughts about their relationship. He wouldn't be able to handle taking care of her cutting herself when he had his own problem, as well, wouldn't he? As flustered as he was, he headed back into the theatre, leaving Manny standing there watching him from behind.

She too was a bit dazzled for what had happened, but not as guilty as he was. Lately, she had been having thoughts about Craig, from so long ago. She had seen him play in the band and immediately she started having feelings for him again. Manny wanted the two of them to happen again, but she knew that he would have the conflict with Ellie to take care of. Ellie was sort of a weak soul, she probably wouldn't be able to handle herself on her own, without Craig. Of course, this was only guessing on Manny's part. This would probably all get sorted on Monday.

Craig rushed into the theatre, furious at himself. He would never kiss Ellie in that sort of fashion, never. He had too much respect for Ellie to start snogging her in public, let alone in the privacy of their own rooms. He treasured Ellie and he loved her to the depths of his heart. He sat down and stared at the precious girl sitting beside him, a porcelain doll with many secrets inside. He leaned towards her and kissed her gently on the cheek, whispering into her ear, "Ellie, I love you."

That was the first time that he had ever said it to her; a smile appeared on Ellie's lips, a smile of happiness and of relief at the same time. She had found someone that actually loved her. Hopefully this time it would be the real thing, hopefully she won't have to get her heart broken. Her eyes gazed into his, her lips fumbling to find the right words to say, "Craig, I love you, too." She kissed him gently on his lips and gave him a small little squeeze before placing her hand on his and watching the rest of the movie.

Craig was still a bit flustered about the whole Manny situation. He vowed to himself that he would never do anything with her. He couldn't just break Ellie's heart. He did love the girl to death. His eyes watched Manny as she walked into the theatre. A sort of a hate sheilded over his eyes as she turned around and looked at him. She wanted him, he knew that, but she couldn't have him.

The wind was picking up outside, leaves pervading through the air, hitting onto the trees and onto the ground. A very upset looking person was meandering down the street, their eyes staring off into space as they trailed off into the atmosphere. Everything was going wrong for them, there had to be something that they could do about it, get attention, perhaps?

They headed down the street, heading towards the ravine. It was always a nice place to walk around in, especially at this time of night. Sure, it was a bit spooky, but nothing scared this person, nothing at all. They clenched the rope tightly in their hand as the person continued towards the wood. There had to be a perfect place for them to do it, for everyone in the whole town of Degrassi to see.

The person had never had thoughts like these before, but they had developed a lot lately and this was the only option for them. No one cared about them at all, no one, so why would it be rational that they continued living on this earth?

Their eyes fell upon a stump in the ground, a tree conveniently next to it. Perfect, the perfect place to kill themselves. This mysterious person headed over to the stump, climbing on top of it. They placed the roped over the tree and tied it tightly to the thickest part of it, just incase it would collapse at their attempt to. It was only a foot from where the stump was, but it would do in this case.

A noose was made frantically with their hands and they placed it over their head. Tears welled up in their eyes as they tightened the noose around their neck. They pulled the rope just a bit more to give it a bit of height and then jumped off the stump. The person strangled around for a while, but them become very much still as they remained hanging in a very haunting manner from the tree. This was the form of escape for this very depressed person. Everyone in Degrassi would be shocked as to what had happened that very night.


	10. Creature of Death

**A/N : Hello everyone. No reviews, that's okay. I guess I am a sucky writer, I understand. Well, hope you guys enjoy this next peice, it's a bit morbid, but that's me. Please review if you can, thanks.  
**

A tinge of red appeared in the night sky, it was very early in the morning. An ominous scream echoed through the empty streets of Degrassi, but no one stirred, no one at all. The shrill voice grew louder, more frantic as a young woman in her thirties came out from the ravine, her body filled with sweat and her face enveloped with shock. She had been going on her morning run, the same run that she does every single time she needs to let her stress go before she goes to work. This time, it had been different, she had stumbled upon a limp body hanging by the neck. She didn't know who it was, all she knew that the person was dead and there was no way of bringing them back to life.

"SOMEONE IS DEAD! CALL THE POLICE!"

This was a moment of shock, she was quite frightened by what she had seen. Never in her life had she seen a dead person, especially one that had committed suicide. She sprinted faster, finding her home as quickly as she could and ran inside, her fingers dialing the number to the police. It rang a few times and a voice on the other end spoke, but she cut it odd without hesitation.

"Someone is dead. Ravine, hung themselves." She blurted out quickly. Her breaths were short as she waited for the person on the other end to talk.

"Miss, calm down. You said someone is dead?"

"Yes! In the ravine. I was running and I saw this body just hanging hauntingly from a tree. It most certain looked like he was dead."

"Mam, tell us the location where you are at?"

She told them where she was and she headed outside, waiting for the police by the footsteps of her house. Tears fell down her face as she brushed her fingers through her reddish brown hair. She didn't know that she was about to change the lives of several students who were very well aquainted with this person, or so she thought. Here was this person, who had hung themselves in sheer misery. She wondered why they did it and she couldn't forget the words that were written on that paper that was pinned up next to the tree.

"Your words raptured my soul, tore it apart into tiny little peices. Here I hang myself in the misery of your hostility towards my love."

Sirens erupted in the background, blaring through the silent streets of the Degrassi neighborhood. Ellie Nash sprang straight up in her bed, her eyes staring out the window as a police car zoomed right by her house. Why on Earth would a police car be urgently driving by her house. Something terrible must have happened to one of the neighbors, who, she didn't know. Shrugging her shoulders, she stifled a tiny yawn as she got out of her bed.

Ellie flinched from the pain that she had created just a few nights ago. The weekened was now over and it was time for her to head back to school. The redhead had such an amazing time with Craig the previous night; she wished that their date didn't have to end, but it did. Her confidence was growing, but only very slightly. She was still very upset about her father and her mother, as well. Ellie wished that men didn't have to be such jerks and cheat on their wives when they're away. At least her mom didn't have to find out from witnessing it, that would have probably been more horrible than him telling her. Of course, Ellie didn't know how it felt to be cheated on at all, since she hasn't had that many boyfriends.

As usual, Ellie walked to school in the mornings and afternoons. It seemed quite odd for her to be walking this early to the school, but she had to see where the police sirens had gone to. She headed in the general direction of where she had heard them when she woke up. The young girl was nearing the school, an odd place for the police to be at this time of day. Her eyes looked into the ravine, several lights of blue and red glaring deviously at her.

Her heart sank as she stepped closer. Something terrible did happen and she didn't know what it was. The girl headed closer to the scene of the accident, many police crowded around something. One of them looked back to see her standing there, a bewildered look appearing on her young pallid face.

"Miss, you're not supposed to be here. Head over to the school where you're supposed to be..."

"But, I..."

"This doesn't concern you, now, miss, please leave..."

She caught a glimpse of what they were standing over and it was the dead body of someone that she didn't recognize. Well, the face had been covered by one of the police officer's leg. Ellie would soon find out about this, one way or another. Muttering to herself, she headed away from the scene only hearing a few words of what they were saying.

"Here I hang myself in the misery of your hostility towards my love. What on Earth does that mean...?"

The girl sprinted faster towards the school. A suicide note, but from who to who? This was by far the most drastic thing that had happened since the death of Rick and Jimmy being shot.

Ellie didn't like being the one that started rumors, or anything that would lead to gossip around the school, but she had to tell someone, anyone. Her eyes fell upon some of her friends sitting on the steps leading to the Degrassi school. Alex and Paige were sitting their laughing, oblvious to the fact that there was someone in the ravine that had just hanged themselves, suicide.

"Hey Ellie!" Paige waived at the redhead and motioned for her to join them. She headed over to where they sat and took a seat, her eyes glinting with complete worry.

"El, something wrong. You seem a bit out of it." Alex asked, placing a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder.

"Yeah. Umm...someone hung themselves in the ravine..."

"Oh my gosh! That is horrible. You have any idea as to who it is?" Paige asked. She cocked her head slightly to the side and stared at Ellie. She was telling the truth, Ellie wasn't the sort of person who would be lying in this kind of matter. Ellie shook her head, answering the question that Paige had asked.

"Well, no need to worry about it now. We'll find out sooner or later..." Alex reassured Ellie.

"Yeah. I'll see you guys in class, alright?" Ellie got to her feet and headed inside to the school. Just as she did that, the bell rang and many students were now rushing to their classes. Many of them brushed past her, and several of them were standing around gossiping to each other; not caring the slightest bit that there was class that was starting soon.

As soon as everyone was settled into their classrooms, the announcer, Mrs. H spoke into the microphone, giving the students the news for the morning.

"I have a very grave announcement that I need to make. I have just received a phonecall from the police stating that someone in our student body had killed himself during the weekend. For those of you who know him, I am terribly sorry and I send you my deepest regret and condolences. May us all pray together and hope that..."


	11. Cause and Effect

A haunting silence fell over the students as they anxiously waited to see who person was that had killed himself. It seemed like ages, as if time had completly slowed down for them. Then, the name of the person were uttured ominously from the mouth of Mrs. H. The name echoed throughout the hallway, several students that knew the person erupted into sobs of guilt, sadness, and many other reasons, depending on how they knew the person. Forever will the students of Degrassi remind themselves to wish Sean Cameron rest in peace.

The name echoed in Ellie's mind as she stared off into space. Her eyes welled up into tears, reminding herself that she was the one that had pushed herself away from him. Ellie was the reason that he had killed himself and she was very guilty about that. The young redhead couldn't stand being inside the classroom, many of the students crying and others just consoling their friends. Her eyes trailed back to where Craig was sitting; she could see the look of hurt in his eyes before she stormed out of the classroom.

She snapped her rubberband several times, many times, actually. It didn't hurt, it couldn't take away the pain that she was experiencing at the time. Ellie needed escape, she needed to get away from this school, from all the drama that had been happening to her lately. The girl hit her hand hard against the lockers, she continually did this until someone came out of the classroom that she had erupted from. "Ellie..."

"NO! JUST GO AWAY!" Ellie started sprinting towards the entrance of the school. "I DON"T NEED THIS! I DON'T NEED ANY OF IT!"

"Ellie! It's Craig, come here..."

"I WON'T!" She burst through the doors of Degrassi and ran out into the street. A car screeched to a halt as it almost hit into her legs. She stared dumbfoundedly at the person residing in the car. Tears fell down her cheeks some more, her face getting puffier and redder by the minute. Craig grabbed her and pulled her off the street. He embraced her in a very tight hug and kissed her forehead. She sobbed into his arms and spoke in a broken English language.

"I...it's...I...I'm...the...I'm...the cause...o-oh-of...his...d-d-death..." Ellie bit her lip very hard. She didn't want to face the fact that she was the cause of his death, but to her it was very real, very true that she was the one that made him want to kill himself. She remembered the last two words that he said to her.

_"Good-bye Ellie"_

"Ellie, sweetie. It's not your fault. You couldn't have prevented him from killing himself, he probably had many reasons that you didn't know about." This didn't make the young girl feel any better. It perhaps made her feel a bit worse because she knew that she was one of the bigger problems that he was facing.

"N-n-n-no...I-I-I killed h-h-him...he d-d-died b-because of m-m-m-me..." Her body was shaking very profusely. Ellie was freezing. There was no way that she could feel any better, not now, at least. Craig just held her and the two of them stood outside on the footsteps of Degrassi. Several other students came out to watch them, others came out because they couldn't stand the fact in being in school on a day like this. It had been announced that everyone was allowed to head home and leave the school for the day. A day in which they could think back about all the good memories that they had with that person.

_"I think you're cute"_

"I guess I got to you."

"Dream on" 

Ellie just couldn't stop thinking about the day that she and Sean actually got together. It was the sweetest of things, but she remembered that everyone was mad at her for recording them without their knowledge.

_"Hey what's wrong?"_

"I'm moving tomorrow to Alberta."

"What?"

"We have to break up."

It seemed so suddenly for them to break up, but having learnt this made Ellie quite upset. But luckily, he had gotten student welfare and was able to stay in the house that Tracker had. Ellie was so happy when he didn't have to leave.

_"Ellie. Look I don't know how-"_

"You're, you're staying aren't you! Sean please. I love you."

"I love you too...but Ellie."

"When are you coming back!"

After this moment, Ellie had sworn off men. Watching Sean drift off into the distance made her emotionally depressed. It was yet the saddest day of her life, the saddest day of anyone's life. But now, that Sean was gone from this world. She couldn't find anything worse than the death of her ex boyfriend. She was still sobbing into Craig's jacket. They were both alone on the steps of the school now. Ellie still didn't know why Sean had to do something like this, was it for attention, she would never know.

All it did was bore a great big pain in her heart that made her choke every time she thought about Sean.

_"Good-bye Ellie."_


	12. Anguish

**A/N: Hey everyone. Sorry if this took a while to get up. Been busy, not enough motivation, yeah, life is evil. Well, this fits with my mood anyway, so I hope you enjoy, even though some of you hate this story, but that's okay, not everyone will love it. Have fun! 3**

Her heart was pounding heavily against her chest; Emma was gripping her fists tightly, not knowing the result of the announcement. The blond's eyes trailed around the room, everyone sitting silently in their seats and staring at absolutely nothing. The two words uttered from Mrs. H's lips and the announcement seemed to be over for her, just then and there. Tears of pain trailed from her eyes as she sat there. A comforting hand was placed upon her shoulder; Emma looked back to Manny, she too had tears in her eyes.

The girl felt as if she had been the cause of his suicide. Why on Earth would he bring such negative attention on himself now. Emma had to find out what had really happened to him in Wasaga Beach. No one would ever know, unless his parents did have something to do with it. But why was Emma even thinking about this now? There was no importance to it, whatsoever. Her eyes fell to her desk as she stared at the engraved wood, the marks intwining within each other.

Emma stood up. The girl had witnessed another death that was close to her. The first one was Rick, and of course, she felt as if she was the cause of him wanting to shoot everyone at school. She remembered it just like it was yesterday.

_"Hi Emma. Sorry I kissed you." He said, his words pouring into her heart as she stared at him blankily from afar._

_"He's got a gun ok, let's go!" Sean said, hie voice quavering with fear._

_"Don't turn away from me! Glad I found you Emma. You made my list."_

_"Rick what are you doing?" Toby stared at his friend, what on Earth was he doing anyway? And now? Why?_

_"You flirted with me. I thought you liked me, but that was something else."_

_"Just put the gun down ok? Anything else is just gonna make your life worse." Sean was trying to comfort him, but in all due respect, it didn't help what was going to happen next. He had saved her life, but the shock of it still affected her to this very day._

_"It can't get any worse."_

_"Believe me it can. I know. We'll figure it all out okay?"_

_"Figure this all out? It's too late."_

_"No"_

_"I've already shot someone."_

_"Stop!"_

It was all over in a mere second. Both Sean and Rick went down on the ground and that was when it happened, when the gun was set off. Emma had thought she was going to lose Sean forever, but it was the other way around. Even though she was releaved that it hadn't been Sean, the young girl was still devastated about the fact that she was almost going to die that very day. Sean Cameron was her hero again, he had saved her life and made amends with her.

Something about him, something about seeing Sean the other day made her wonder what was wrong with him. He had been acting so strangely. The Sean that had come into her house through her basement window was a different Sean, a Sean with something missing. Sean was missing something. What something could that be? She didn't know.

_"Fine, tomorrow you spend lunch with those losers!"_

_"You know what? I will! Because at least they're fun!"_

_"Fun! And you! You're just pathetic."_

Their breakup. Emma had been very upset about that too, very upset. She wanted to make amends with him, but she couldn't figure out how. He had completely changed, he had become a different person to her. She wasn't over him, even with that fling she had with Chris.

Still, till this day she will remember Sean Cameron and how sweet of a boy he was when he was with her. Emma missed him, now, she missed everything about him. His smile, his hair, the way he held her, the way he loved her no matter what. Tears slid down her face. The whole classroom was empty. She had been in a dreamworld this whole time. She didn't want to face the fact that he was dead, and now. Biting her lower lip, she stood up, her heart aching.

There was nothing she could do about it now. She had been the cause of his death.

_"Emma, I love you, though."_

_"Just go home Sean. We don't need you here anymore."_

He had loved her, he had still loved her. Sobbing silently to herself, the girl ran through the halls of Degrassi and out to the steps. Her eyes fell upon Ellie Nash as she stood there clinging onto Craig like a baby. She, too, was upset about the fact that Sean was now dead. Whimpering from the pain, the girl turned the other way, towards the ravine. She needed someone to hold on to, anyone. She needed to see that it was true, that it was really Sean that was dead.


	13. Truth

A yellow haze filtered through the tops of the trees, illuminating the flowers perched next to a rather familiar looking tree. Several students were standing near the tree, watching the petals from the flowers sway gently in the wind. Their faces were emotionless, very emotionless. What they were feeling wasn't any concern to the others that were standing there. Some tears were being shed, especially from those who were close to Sean Cameron. In the center of all the flowers lay a poster where an array of pictures captured the nice smile that their old friend had. He was happy then, why wasn't he happy and why did he do this?

Ellie trudged towards Craig and laced her fingers into his as she watched the memorial site, the tree where he had hung himself. The young girl wondered if Sean's parents knew why he was acting the way he was? She wondered if they knew that he was now somewhere in heaven watching over them. The redhead's eyes looked up to the sky, her lips shivering from the pain that she was experiencing inside her heart. Ellie could no longer cry, her eyes were bloodshot and they were dry. How ever much she wanted to, she couldn't shed a single tear.

More students joined the small group of students, several of them placing flowers near Sean's pictures, notes written to him, as well. Ellie couldn't stand being here anymore, she couldn't take her eyes off of the picture of Sean and her. She could have saved him, she could have saved him from killing himself that fateful night. If Ellie wished she had known that there was something that was troubeling him, and of course, there had been something that had been troubeling him. The redhead pulled Craig with her and slowly traipsed out of the ravine, watching as students passed them by.

Craig was rather upset about all of this, as well. Here he had lost a really good friend and he didn't know what to think about the matter. If he had only visited him when he was around, rather than being overprotective of Ellie, maybe he could have saved his dear friend. From what he had heard from Ellie, he had noticed that Sean seemed different from before. He wasn't the same Sean that he used to know way back in the day. Sure, he had a history of violence, but seeing that he desperately wanted love wasn't something that he had seen from Sean before. Meaning, he hadn't seen him so aggressive with women and wanting their love immediately. That was something that he didn't get.

The two of them stifled a small sigh as they finally exited the ravine. The site was so beautiful, so precious, filled with so many memories of the past. The only thought in their mind was that of Sean and their wishing that he rested in peace and hoped that his family was taking it well.

Mrs. Cameron awoke from shaking of her husband's desperate hands. Her eyes looked into his, tears trickling down the sides of his cheeks. Her heart was beating really fast, she had never in her life seen her husband cry like this before. Biting her lip, she sat up on her bed and looked at the man before her and then noticed a police officer standing right next to him. Her spirits fell immediately, she knew that something was terribely wrong now.

"What's happened?"

"Sean...he's dead...he killed himself..."

"OH MY GOD! NO!" Her voice shreiked over the rooftops of the houses in Wasaga Beach. Tears filled her eyes as she couldn't control her sobbing, she grabbed her husband and held him tightly. "What did we do? What did we...do? Why? No..." She was rocking back and forth, she couldn't think anymore, she couldn't see why her son would do such a thing.

"M'am, they found these words posted on the tree, do you know what it means? '  
Your words raptured my soul, tore it apart into tiny little peices. Here I hang myself in the misery of your hostility towards my love.'"

Those words tore a wound into Mrs. Cameron's heart. Sean had hung himself, and what he had written before he had done it was very meaningful to her and to her husband as well. She couldn't control her sobbing, all she could do was cling onto her husband and rock back and forth, muttering incoherent words to herself.

_Sean had been sitting in his room, staring out the window. He had regreted coming to Wasaga Beach, there was nothing there for him, except for his family. He watched as his parents were outside, socializing with each other. Here, he had no friends, nothing at all that could make him happy. Ever since he had deserted Ellie so ruthlessly, he had been regreting that day because it hurt him emotionally, building a scar in his heart._

Mrs. Camaron watched as her son came out onto the footsteps of their house. His eyes filled with tears and a longing for something. She watched him. Lately, they haven't been getting along. There were arguements just about every night before they went to bed. Sean's parents had started drinking again and the boy was very upset about that. He didn't come back to Wasaga Beach just to see his family drinking again. He hated that with passion and he never wanted to be like them.

"Where the HELL do you think you're going?" Her words shot right at him.

"AWAY from here! You don't love me anymore, nor does dad! I hate both of you!"

"SEAN CAMERON! DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT!"

"I just did! You've made my life miserable here from the first moment I stepped foot back here...I'm out of here!"

"Oh no you don't! If you leave us now, we won't take you back here!"

"Fine, see what I care."

"We don't love you anymore, then!" His drunken mother's words were so harsh that he started running and running as fast as he could. There was nothing that was following behind him, and that was the day that he dissappeared from Wasaga Beach.

It had been all her fault. She was the cause of Sean running away, of Sean hating her so much. She couldn't remember all the specific details, as she was quite wasted that very day, but she knew that she didn't mean anything that she had said. Ever since that day he had left, she had stopped drinking and would stare out the window, waiting for any sign of her Sean to come home, he never did, and now, he never will.

"We're very sorry about your loss. We'll leave you two alone for a while."

The Cameron's sat down on the bed and watched as the police officers headed out of the door that led to their hallway. They held on to each other tightly and cried into each other's chests, breathing heavily and uncontrolably. They had lost their youngest son and now they had nothing else that they could do. Their older son had moved far away from them and they had nothing in their lives except for themselves.

Emma kicked her foot against the hard surface of the leave filled floor as she headed deeper into the ravine. Her eyes trailed to where many students were standing, some coming and some going. A pang filled her heart as she spotted the collage of pictures with Sean smiling in each and every one of them. Tears ran down her cheeks as she stood there for a minute, searching through the students and through the pictures. Here was another death that was closely related to her, each and every tiem, she thinking that she was the fault of it.

A familiar face was in the crowd of students. His fists were clenched very tightly as he stared off into the distance with tears in the corner of his eyes. Emma sauntered languidly towards him and stood next to the boy. She intwined her arm in his and looked at him. He looked at her and gave her a small hug. He knew that she was just as upset that he was, maybe even more since she had been his ex.

Jay couldn't believe that Sean had killed himself. The students of Degrassi would never know the real reason why, all they could do was blame themselves. No words were exchanged as they stood there, but everyone knew what everyone else was thinking. Emma hugged Jay back and they stood there in silence, relishing each other's company and mourning for the death of Sean Cameron.


End file.
